Spring 2001 "Remove the Roadblocks to Your Success"

ur newsletter will promote principles of personal success for women. These ideas will illustrate success in the working world, in interpersonal relationships, and in developing self esteem and confidence. Each member will bring special knowledge about attaining personal goals and adding a sense of discovery and excitement to women's lives.

	"Our roadblocks of limiting beliefs have usually been put into place in childhood. (My little voice originated at age 8 when my parents divorced and I wasn't quite sure what would become of me)."
	"...most people with terrific marketing will fail unless they also have selling skills to get the business closed!"
	"If they become severe, negative thinking patterns can even result in your feeling like a victim, versus feeling that you are in control of your life."
	"It's clear to me now - if I didn't know it before - that great things can happen if you persist... and learn from your failures."
	"Did failure to act responsibly 'cost' you your employer's respect, trust and loyalty... a sale, a client, a new account, a golden referral?"

n this issue of Defining Women, we really "come full circle." When we were organizing the publication in the fall of 1997, two of our original contributors, Diane Furie and Marla Hursig, told me that they had met and dealt with many women who - for various reasons - felt blocked from achieving their goals and dreams. We hope that you will find at least one idea in these five articles that will be useful to you. - Jane Blume

Dr. Gail Feldman is a clinical psychologist, award-winning author, and public speaker. Her latest book is, "From Crisis to Creativity: Taking Advantage of Adversity." She is trained in hypnotherapy, regression therapy, and eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR). For more information, please call her office at 505-266-8488; you may also send email to: GFWrites@aol.com or visit her Website at www.gailfeldman.com

've noticed that the blocks in my road to success are usually mental, emotional, and psychological. When I couldn't begin to write this article, for example, it was not because I had no computer, or because I couldn't find the time. It was not due to lack of knowledge of the English language. (I know enough to construct proper sentences that convey a message.) I couldn't get thoughts to paper because the words were temporarily lost in a mind clouded with self-doubt, preoccupation, and anxiety. Even sitting down to try to concentrate was impossible... for a space of time. 

     My divorce, after 34 years of marriage, had just been finalized. I had moved to a townhouse that I loved. But I felt destabilized. My carefully constructed identity was tied jointly to my work and to my marriage. I wasn't quite certain that I was the same person. That strong "observing ego" of mine said I'd be fine: "Give yourself time." A smaller, inner voice said, "I don't think you can make it on your own." And that voice brought with it a kind of primitive, bottom-line fear: the sense that I might be overwhelmed and unable to function at all. In that context, inspiring thoughts and assertive, follow-through behavior seemed inconceivable.

     Our roadblocks of limiting beliefs have usually been put into place in childhood. (My little voice originated at age 8 when my parents divorced and I wasn't quite sure what would become of me.) The negative self-talk may pop up automatically when we're faced with a similar situation, or multiple tasks, especially in the context of stressful situations. Most of us have a tasking threshold that, when exceeded, triggers apprehension. And if the tasks accrue in the context of a major life change, we can find ourselves stalled in crisis. Then it's time for a mental tune-up, an attitude adjustment, and a reality check. 

     First, ground yourself (as I had to do) in the present time, aware of yourself as an adult with education, training, and intelligence. Distinguish between how it felt to be confronted with difficulties as a child versus how it can feel now with your adult skills in place. 

     Second, confer with your "confidence consultant," usually a close friend, who can easily remind you of your current abilities and achievements, and even "brainstorm" the first block right out into the ether. You might also confer with your business consultant, who can help you gain perspective about your particular "highway" and present strategies for achieving your goals. 

     Third, remember that every roadblock presents an adventure in learning, about your business and about yourself.

     Most important, know that you can choose a variety of ways to remove obstacles to success, a choice that was not possible when you were younger. Most of these avenues involve assertiveness self-training. Two airport experiences showed me that I was literally able to remove blocks to my progress: As my friend came to a halt behind orange barrels barring the drop-off lane at the Phoenix Sunport, I quickly assessed the setting, jumped out of the car, and moved the barrels so I could make my plane. 

     The following month in New York, the situation was more complicated: airport construction caused many lanes of traffic to be backed up far from the departure area. As I had a connection to make in Chicago, it was imperative I be on that first plane. My friend was driving a four-wheel-drive vehicle, and I noticed that we were in the outside lane next to a sidewalk. I pointed to it, and up on the sidewalk she went, getting me close enough to the terminal to jump out and run to check in.

     Just a few years before, I would not have had the courage to engage in those behaviors. Risks were involved. The word "risk" in my dictionary is defined as both "danger" and "adventure." On the road to success, "mighty warrior women" are eager to embrace adventure. So dare to step boldly on your road to success, knowing clearly your ability to remove or cleverly find an alternate route to your destination. Know too, that success is inevitable when you blend service with self-expression. Words came bubbling back into my brain as my confidence and focus re-emerged. 

     "After all," as Anthony Robbins said, "in the end, all we have is who we become."

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Lenann McGookey Gardner is a Harvard M.B.A. and an independent management consultant specializing in improving companies' sales and marketing results. She works with smaller businesses, as well as large companies, worldwide.  Call Lenann when you want to grow your sales by closing the most desirable, highest profit business. Lenann is a recent winner of the American Marketing Association/New Mexico's "Services Marketer of the Year" award. Visit her on the Web at www.YouCanSell.com.

REMOVE THE ROADBLOCKS TO YOUR SUCCESS IN GROWING YOUR BUSINESS

hat will it take for you to feel more successful in life?

     You may have several answers to that question. Is one of them that you would like to make more money?

     And, if so, how?

     Do you own your own business, and need to find a way to grow it profitably?

     Or you work for someone else? Does your future depend on your company finding more customers - or doing more business with those you have?

     Are you an artist, musician, caterer, or meeting planner - and is your ability to continue to do the thing you love dependent on finding someone to buy your work?

     Or are you perhaps a person of leisure - after working for years, you've earned your freedom from "formal work", and are now volunteering in your community? Does your volunteer organization need to raise money?

     No matter which of the above scenarios applies to you, the common denominator here is selling! If you can sell, you can fundraise for worthy causes, find buyers for your art work, grow your department and likely get promoted, or make sure your own business generates enough cash for you to be comfortable!

     So... Do you know how to sell?

     Or do you just think you know?

     Since I teach selling and closing for a living, I run into many people who tell me they already know about selling! When I ask them to elaborate, they'll say: "Well, I'm not really the 'sales type,' but I send out a mailing from time to time," or "I go to conferences to meet people," or "I'm networking a lot!" or "I just bought a package of commercials." 

     All true stories, and I have many more!

     But those efforts aren't SELLING; most of them fall under the heading of "marketing" - and marketing isn't bad, but most people with terrific marketing will fail unless they also have selling skills to get the business closed!

     So what's selling? Well, it's a subset of marketing -- the part that involves face-to-face or phone-to-phone conversations with your prospects. 

     Study selling, and you'll learn how to get such conversations, and, once you have them, what to say, when to say it, how to help a person to make a decision sooner rather than later about whether to work with or buy from you, and how to follow up.

     There is more sales research every day - and a lot of it blows out of the water the notions that most people have about what works in selling. It's not that those notions were wrong always - it's that people are buying differently today than they ever have before. (Think about it: don't you make purchase decisions differently now than you did 5 years ago?) 

     When people buy differently, we have to sell differently. If you haven't had an update on your selling skills in, worst case, the last two years, you owe it to yourself to acquire these skills.

     Sometimes removing roadblocks to our success involves becoming very clear about where our gaps in knowledge exist. If selling is a gap for you, close it now, and reap the benefits!

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Janet L. Hall is a Certified Kinesionics Practitioner/Herbalist/Nutritionist and owner of Alternative Wellness Center in Albuquerque. She is a member of the Association of Specialized Kinesiologists of the U.S., and also a member of the American Herbalists Guild. The People Living Through Cancer organization recently awarded Janet a plaque for her caring, dedicated and professional treatment of those she works with who are dealing with cancer. Janet is also the consulting Kinesiologist and Nutritionist for A New Hope, a foundation for eating disorders. Janet can be reached at (505) 294-WELL, or drjhall@qwest.net

hat really is your idea of success? Have you reached that goal? If not, what stands in your way?

     There can be many barriers to achieving what you really want out of life. What things keep you from having the happy, self-fulfilled, deep sense of success you desire? Are you even aware of what they are? Coming to the realization of what obstacles you face can be the first step in removing them. Most of the individuals I treat at my clinic are not aware of what is truly preventing them from attaining their goals. When asked, they may give some surface reasons, but through a technique using Kinesiology (muscle testing), the true cause can be revealed. This technique draws out a form of "body wisdom", which is held in the subconscious. The conscious mind is often unaware of these inner feelings and truths.

     In testing, I commonly find negative thinking patterns and emotions among my patients. Not apparent to the individual, these negative emotions and patterns circulate in the subconscious. Something as simple as negative-thinking patterns can be the root cause of what is holding you back from enjoying success! For example, one woman felt that she would not be able to achieve the success she desired due to a chronic health condition. When we tested her, we found that her symptoms were actually brought on by negative emotions she had been holding onto. Her body believed what was circulating in her subconscious - that she did not deserve to and would never be successful. The emotion held was guilt, over something that had not even been her fault. Once she let that go, her health significantly improved, and she is a very successful woman today! 

How Negative Thinking Patterns Affect Us
     What amount of time and energy do you consciously spend dwelling on negative thoughts? If you can consciously recognize such thoughts, imagine what could be in the subconscious! Whether about yourself, the world, your work, relationships, issues you are facing, etc., negative thoughts truly do have the power to create negative circumstances and keep positive things from happening in your life. These negative patterns & emotions are circulating in the subconscious - whether or not they surface to the conscious level. When tested, many of my patients were shocked to find their negativity levels much higher than they'd imagined!

     If they become severe, negative thinking patterns can even result in your feeling like a victim, versus feeling that you are in control of your life. A person who feels like a victim repeatedly makes statements such as, "Everything that can go wrong does go wrong for me..." "I can never..." "This could only happen to me!.." "I'll never get to..." "It won't work for me..." and he/she begins to feel they have a dark cloud lurking over them that brings only bad circumstances. With this form of thinking, you are defeated by life before you ever begin to live, and success feels impossible to achieve. Negative thoughts and feelings we hold onto and leave unresolved take away our power in life. This power helps us have self-worth and work toward our goals and eventual success. Without it, how can true success be achieved? 

     I am a firm believer that negativity begets negativity in your life, and that positivity opens a whole new world of positive goals, dreams and success! The power of positive thinking and affirmations is truly amazing and changes lives!

Deep Emotional Issues 
     Do you have a deep emotional issue that you've tried to address and yet it surfaces again and again? What I find is that we can be holding onto a particular belief or feeling because our subconscious feels it is not safe to let go of. We may reason out consciously that it is not a valid belief, yet the feeling is still there, causing us to react. For example, a male client had a deep core issue around trust. It affected him at work and with friendships, and he could not have a secure, happy relationship with a female, for fear she could not be trusted. His dream was to be happily married, to be a secure family man - which would be "success" in his eyes. 

     In testing, it was revealed that this client's severely abusive childhood created the belief that anyone he was close to and loved would cause him pain. He also believed that this would occur because he did not deserve love and must not be worthy of having the wonderful relationships he desired. After just a few sessions with this man, using a new emotional technique, he was able to dispel his belief from deep within his subconscious. He is no longer dealing with a trust issue, and will soon be married!

     One more example I'd like to relate is that of a female patient, overweight all of her life and constantly struggling to diet and lose weight. Since complete healthcare is my focus, I had changed her diet, balanced her body, and had added supplements for weight loss - yet no significant weight loss was achieved. Testing revealed that having been sexually abused as a child, she had a subconscious belief that she was not "safe" to be at her ideal weight. Once the underlying negative emotions and thought patterns were reversed, she was able to lose over 38 pounds and is still steadily losing. Yes, all these harmful beliefs and ideas we are discussing can be reversed!

     If you see yourself in these examples or feel you can relate to the "barriers" we've just talked about (or others), do not despair! The new emotional and negative thinking techniques now available through Kinesiology make these issues easy to reveal and quickly removed. With these new techniques, some traditional "talk" therapies are becoming a thing of the past. People are not anxious to drudge up all the painful occurrences of the past in order to survive, learn to truly live and be successful today. These new techniques make it possible to go forward from today in a few short visits, versus years of counseling & therapy! A great book explaining more about negative feelings and thoughts is entitled: "Feelings Buried Alive Never Die..." by Karol Truman. Don't let emotional issues and negative thought patterns stand in your way anymore. Find the root cause of the barriers to your success and start a new path to the new successful you! 

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Jane Blume, Editor/Publisher of our Defining Women newsletter, celebrates 35 years of professional work in communications this year. Jane founded Desert Sky Communications in 1989 to help businesses, non-profit organizations and individual entrepreneurs "get the right messages to the right audiences." Desert Sky's services include public relations, marketing and advertising strategies and execution; writing and editing; corporate identity; photography; facilitation; and innovative radio programs. For more information, call Jane at (505) 294-1976, email to  or visit www.desertskycommunications.com.

ver time, I have learned that if you want to be successful, you have to be willing to take some risks. A friend of mine, who runs one of the largest women-owned businesses in New Mexico, says that she is very "conservative," and always analyzes the possible dangers and rewards before plunging into any new venture for her firm.

     But whether or not you own a business: if you've been contemplating making some changes in your life, or want to embark on a new venture - but are somewhat "risk-averse" - what can you do?

     One thing you can do is to take a small risk first and see what happens. I often talk about my "twenty-dollar risk." Early on in my public relations business, I saw a classified ad from Arizona Insights, a Phoenix-based firm that had won a contract from Intel. The giant computer-chip maker had recruited a large number of Irish people to staff the company's new plant near Dublin, but wanted them to work in this country first - for about 18 months - to acquaint them with the company's systems and methods. Arizona Insight's job was to help the Irish adjust quickly to living in this country, and was hiring subcontractors to perform the work in U.S. cities where Intel had major facilities: Albuquerque, Phoenix, Portland, Oregon and Santa Clara, California (corporate headquarters).

     Since I had studied foreign languages and had lived and traveled in Europe, I thought that this would be an interesting contract for Desert Sky Communications. I sent a resume to Arizona Insights, and a short time later, two members of of their staff were interviewing me in the offices of the Greater Albuquerque Chamber of Commerce. They told me that if I were chosen to work with the Irish, I would be required to go to Phoenix for one day of orientation and training on a specific date in July.

     As it happened, I had planned to go to New York in July to celebrate my mother's birthday. I discovered that if I used America West Airlines, it would cost only $20.00 more to spend the night in Phoenix before returning to Albuquerque. Although Arizona Insights had not given me a decision before I bought my ticket, I timed my return to coincide with the training date, figuring that it was worth the risk to spend the extra $20.00. The risk paid off: Arizona Insights did hire me!

     The next milestone in risk-taking for my business occurred in the mid-'90s. I had re-opened Desert Sky Communications after taking two years off to run public radio station KUNM-FM, and realized that I was facing competition from a number of other public relations professionals who had opened their own businesses after being "downsized" from their organizations. To distinguish myself from my competitors, I decided to try to highlight my expertise by offering to speak to local professional associations and community groups. 

     I thought that beginning a public speaking effort would be a low-risk affair, because it required no expenditure of financial resources on my part. A chance meeting with a young accountant gave me my first opportunity to present "Promote Yourself the Professional Way" to the local chapter of a national professional group. My presentation was met with a "stony silence" from the assembled audience, and I have never been invited back.

     It might have been easy to give up public speaking after this less-than-auspicious debut; however, for some reason, I didn't. Over the next few years, requests from various quarters led me to develop a dozen different presentations about public relations, promotion and advertising, including a half-day seminar. This year, for the first time in my 30-plus-year career, I have been offered the opportunity to present at two national conferences. 

     My next risk did require spending some money: to finance publication and distribution of the Defining Women newsletter. The stimulus for organizing a consortium to produce this publication was the fact that - at the time - the five of us could not afford to finance a newsletter as individuals. We also believed that we really had some important things to say to women. 

     The results have been well worth the effort. Publishing something - especially if it provides valuable information to the reader - can give you enormous credibility, and helps to build awareness of whatever enterprise you're involved in. Within 18 months of getting involved with the Defining Women, my business grew enough to allow me to establish a newsletter that highlights my company's activities and successes with clients. 

     As you can see, you do not have to take high-stakes risks to start on your path to success. I never aspired to speak at the national level, but it evolved over a series of small steps. It's clear to me now - if I didn't know it before - that great things can happen if you take those small risks first, persist, and learn from your failures. And if you refrain from taking even the smaller risks, who knows what opportunities you might miss!

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Carol Akright is a Certified Financial Planner (CFP), stockbroker and insurance agent specializing in intergenerational planning, retirement funding and wealth building. She is Registered Principal and Branch Manager with Associated Securities Corporation of Los Angeles, a full service brokerage firm. A financial educator as well, she lectures nationwide at both public and corporate seminars on investment strategies, "Dream Funding," and other financial topics. Contact her at 505-897-1970, akrightcr1@aol.com

n a sense, to some extent, we are all saboteurs of our success. We are less successful than we could be because of barriers we ourselves erect that put the brakes on dream achievement. This is especially true of our financial success. We conduct ourselves in ways that limit our earning, spending, saving, and investing - the steps to financial independence. 

     Let's take a look at EARNING first. How often have you thought, "I deserve a higher salary or greater profits from my business. I work hard, and I create value; I should be earning more money." But have you taken ownership of the behaviors you exhibit that limit your earning capacity? Behaviors such as starting a project, but procrastinating from bringing it to completion on time; not doing for a client or prospect what you say you will do; habitually arriving late to appointments and meetings; not keeping your word or commitment, in even small ways; or forgetting to show appreciation to your boss, your colleagues, your clients, and your prospects. 

     I've previously mentioned a business-coaching program I attend, the Strategic Coach. The head coach there, Dan Sullivan, says people give promotions, or their business, to people who do four things on a consistent basis: 

1. Show up on time.
2. Do what they say they do.
3. Finish what they start. 
4. Say, "Please," and "Thank you." 

     Think back over this past year. When have you missed the opportunity to follow these four precepts? Did failure to act responsibly "cost" you your employer's respect, trust, and loyalty? Did it "cost" you a sale, a client, a new account, or a golden referral?

     People give raises and business to those individuals who make it easy to trust, like, and respect them. Anything you do that makes it harder for others to view you this way, is a roadblock, or barrier, to better earnings. 

     What about SPENDING? Are you a "mindful" or a "mindless" spender? Do you budget and allocate your resources according to your most important dreams? I talk a lot in my business about "dreamfunding," and I encourage to you fund all the dreams that you can - both in the short-term, and in the years ahead. Yet, I find that most people cannot afford the price tags of all their dreams at once. So, you have to sift and sort, choosing the dreams that matter most to you and to your loved ones now. As for the others - well, you'll have to postpone them into the future, or perhaps eliminate them altogether. 

     What I find, typically, is that most people spend between $500 and $1000 per month more than they think they do, because they put these expenditures on credit cards. When I have them sit down and fill out a CASH FLOW STATEMENT, including the items they bought on credit, they are amazed that they spent so much more than they had thought. This is what I refer to when I say "mindless" spending - it's a major barrier to dream achievement and financial success.

     If you wrote down right now the three most important dreams you want to accomplish, figured out the financial price tag to pay for them, set a target date for achievement of each dream, and created a financial plan for finding the money to pay for them, you'd be shocked how easy it is to methodically create a spending plan that works. What's more, you'll be pleased that you've budgeted for these expenses and can afford them. The way you afford them is by eliminating the 'mindless' spending that wastes precious resources which can pay the price tags of your dreams.

     Failure to begin a regular SAVING PLAN is perhaps the greatest barrier to financial success, because you can never accumulate the funds to pay for your future dreams - including the dream of a secure financial future. If you are 25 years old and save $159 per month, every month, for 40 years, and you earn 10% on the invested savings, you'll be a millionaire by the time you're age 65. But, if you wait 20 years, and begin your savings plan at age 45, you would have to save at least $1,317 per month, at 10%, to get the same million dollars by age 65. So, this is a not a difficult decision, is it? It's much easier to save several hundred dollars each month, rather than a thousand plus!

     So, why do we delay getting started? We delay because we don't think we have enough "extra money" after expenses to save much, so we don't save anything. We delay this year, next year, and pretty soon we are just looking at twenty years to save instead of forty. So start today. $10 is not too small an amount to begin. Next month, bump it up to $25. The next month: $50. Get yourself up to several hundred dollars a month. If it's easier to have it taken out of your paycheck before you ever see it, great. Do that. Many employers will let you set aside small sums in a savings or retirement account from each pay period. The important thing is to start -- and remove this simple but significant barrier to financial independence: procrastination.

     Finally, the world of INVESTING can seem scary, overwhelming, and full of strange terms and lots of risk. Yet, once you start to educate yourself about money and how it can grow over time, the easier it is to begin this next phase of building toward financial success. Investing, unlike saving, involves some risk to the capital you begin with - you could lose your "principal" if you select investments with market or interest rate risk. 

     I suggest you pick up financial magazines such as WORTH, MONEY, or investment newsletters, to start learning about the concept of "asset allocation," which means spreading your risk by investing in different asset classes, such as stocks, bonds (or stock or bond mutual funds), and cash instruments, like money market funds and Treasury securities. Get referrals from friends and colleagues to several financial advisors (stockbrokers, registered investment advisors, or certified financial planners), and meet with some of these people to talk about the dreams you want to fund and get their ideas about how to start your investment program. Select one of them to work with now and into the future. Do your own research on the Internet about types of investments and investment companies, attend investment seminars, and start reading the business section of your local paper or the WALL STREET JOURNAL.

To begin building your investment portfolio, start small, work with someone you feel comfortable with and trust, and do not go into any investment you don't understand or that doesn't "feel right" to you. Have your advisor help you develop a financial plan that looks toward the future and helps you begin today to better plan your earning, spending, saving, and investing. Then you'll be well on your way to removing all the barriers that can get in the way of financial success - you'll be funding your greatest dreams. Good luck!

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