Winter 2004 "Integrity"

ur newsletter will promote principles of personal success for women. These ideas will illustrate success in the working world, in interpersonal relationships, and in developing self esteem and confidence. Each member will bring special knowledge about attaining personal goals and adding a sense of discovery and excitement to women's lives.

	"After the last voter had filled out his ballot and left the building, things became even more interesting: we four observers were invited to sit close to the election judges as they reviewed the new and complex ballot-counting rules – which took about 45 minutes. They even permitted us to ask clarifying questions!"
	"As I’ve matured, I’ve started to see Integrity as a layer of choices. Each day we face a choice of either being direct with people and speaking our minds, or easing away from expressing our feelings, away from saying what matters most to us, and away from making what we truly believe in known to others."
	"One reason to focus on Integrity is that in some sense, it is fundamental to everything else in our lives. The rest of what we think or do matters very little if we lack essential integrity - the self-knowledge of who we are at our very core, the values and beliefs that ignite our passions, and the courage of our convictions that allows us to act and speak in behalf of what we know to be right."
	"If you say you’re going to do something in life, just do it. No excuses. If you find that you will be unable to do what you said you were going to do, renegotiate that commitment before the deadline passes. NEVER let a deadline go by without acknowledging it and attempting to renegotiate it. Just don’t SAY you’ll do it if you have any doubt that you WILL."
	"When I looked up the word integrity, the dictionary described it as “firmness of character and honesty,” but when you research the original Hebrew word it means “that which is complete and whole, unbreakable devotion, honest motivation, innocence as to wrong intention.” So, holding to integrity would only be possible through firmness, trueness to self, and wholeness or completeness of heart and devotion, along with deep faith and trust in your beliefs. "

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Jane Blume, Editor/Publisher of our Defining Women newsletter, celebrates 38 years of professional work in communications this year. Jane founded Desert Sky Communications in 1989 to help businesses, non-profit organizations and individual entrepreneurs "get the right messages to the right audiences." Desert Sky's services include public relations, marketing and advertising strategies and execution; writing and editing; corporate identity; photography; facilitation; and innovative radio programs. For more information, call Jane at (505) 294-1976, email to  or visit www.desertskycommunications.com.

The Integrity of the Ballot Box

Dear Readers,
Whatever political party you belong to – or even if you belong to none – I hope that this story will inspire you to get involved in the political process. Citizens like you and me can really make a difference.
Jane

n Tuesday, February 3rd this year, Phil and I spent the day “spelling” each other as poll watchers for Governor Howard Dean, the candidate of our choice in New Mexico’s brand-new Democratic presidential “caucus-primary” (the brainchild of Governor Bill Richardson, who wants to put New Mexico on every possible “map”; the Republican Party is sticking with the traditional June primary).

     We and other Dean Campaign volunteers were sent to the polling sites to keep track of whether or not his supporters were voting; to tally the number of all voters who came to the polls; to serve as advocates if any of his supporters were denied the right to vote; and to insure that the process proceeded according to the rules set down by the New Mexico Democratic Party. During our pre-ballot training, we were told that some people might not be on the official voter lists because there were so many new registered voters; in that case these folks should be permitted to fill out “provisional ballots,” and the Party would open these ballots and adjudicate any possible discrepancies later.

     New Mexico’s selection process wasn’t really a caucus of the Iowa/Minnesota variety with which Phil and I are familiar because we once lived in that part of the country: people gather with others in their precinct who belong to the same political party, and publicly divide themselves into groups according to candidate preference. In this state, people were required to mark their preferences in private on paper ballots.

     It wasn’t really the type of winner-take-all primary most of us are used to, either. After the ballots were tallied, delegates were to be divided among the candidates according to the percentage of the popular vote each one received - with the minimum set at 15%.

     We weren’t the only poll watchers on site that day: General Wesley Clark’s campaign sent a warm-hearted man I’ll call “Don,” who plays with the New Mexico Symphony Orchestra. “Penny,” a charming young social worker whose husband is stationed at Kirtland Air Force Base, represented the Senator John Edwards Campaign.

     (Each of us had had varying degrees of prior political experience. Don had volunteered for the first time ever with a congressional candidate’s campaign in 2002; Penny had worked in Edwards’s 1998 campaign for the U.S. Senate; and Phil had been elected as an anti-Vietnam War delegate to a county convention in Minnesota to support Democratic presidential candidate Eugene McCarthy in 1968 - but had done nothing further in politics until this day.)

     (I had been a Democratic Party precinct captain in Minneapolis during that same era, but had to let my political activities lapse in 1975 when I went into journalism. In 1998 I reactivated myself by walking a precinct on behalf of a successful Albuquerque mayoral candidate. In 2002 I served as a Ward delegate to the New Mexico State Democratic Convention, supporting a talented lady named Diane Denish who made history by becoming our first female Lieutenant Governor.)

     Our day at the polls began about 20 minutes before the doors opened at Noon, when we were assigned seating outside the 10-foot perimeter established around the check-in table, voting areas and ballot box. Since electioneering was not allowed in the building, the officials instructed us to take off our campaign T-shirts and buttons, cover up the Dean name on any of our visible materials, and not to engage in conversation with the voters.

     (It was hard to adhere to the last admonition; we looked so “official” sitting there with our list that voters asked us questions all day long!)

     When we realized that our seating location would prevent us from hearing the voters as they stepped up to the table to identify themselves, one official kindly agreed to call out all the names so that we could check them against our supporter list. (Don had not been given a list, and Penny arrived after work - about an hour before the polls closed. They said that their function was to insure that the ballots were counted fairly.)

     Our first “official act” was to observe that the ballot box was empty (and therefore, free of ballots) when the election officials unlocked it for the first time.

     When the polls officially opened more than two-dozen people were waiting on line to do their civic duty, and – according to our final totals – the voters came in at the rate of about 90 per hour. Because radio reports announced that people could fill out their ballots “anywhere,” the resulting influx caused even more crowding at our polling site. Our election officials handled that delicate situation reasonably smoothly by identifying the correct polling places for those who had wandered in from outside the area.

     Those who could prove – with some sort of legal ID - that they lived within any of the 10 precincts represented at our polling “station,” had no trouble receiving the go-ahead to sign their names and then fill out affidavits and provisional ballots.

     With all the heavy foot traffic, we tracked Dean supporters and counted voters to the best of our ability until 4:00, when a runner from the Campaign came by to collect our lists. All Dean voters who had not voted by that time were going to receive telephone calls urging them to go to the polls. We remained where we were, counting voters until the polls closed at 7:00.

     (After all the ballots were tallied, we learned that overall voter turnout statewide was more than twice than what had been expected: more than 101,000 Democrats participated instead of 50,000. The situation was the same in the six other states that were holding primaries and caucuses that day.)

     After the last voter had filled out his ballot and left the building, things became even more interesting: we four observers were invited to sit close to the election judges as they reviewed the new and complex ballot-counting rules – which took about 45 minutes. They even permitted us to ask clarifying questions!

     The Democratic Party’s instructions specifically stated that we had to compare the number of ballots to the number of voter signatures. If the numbers did not match, we were to count the ballots at least twice more to see if we could match the numbers. The Party was more concerned about a situation where there might be more ballots than signatures (and not vice versa), because there could be accusations of ballot stuffing later on.

     At that point all of us were exhausted, and no votes had even been counted yet!

     After we clarified the instructions, we waited about half an hour more until one of the officials had counted the signatures of all the registered voters (525, he said) plus those who had cast provisional ballots (65). Once he declared that he was sure of these numbers, the other judges unlocked the ballot box, separated out the provisional ballots (which were sealed in special envelopes), divided the regular ballots into piles according to candidate, and started counting them by hand.

     Each of us, the four observers, sat with an official who was counting the ballots for someone other than our candidate; and although we did not touch the ballots, we counted along with the officials to help verify the tallies. All the ballots were counted at least twice.

     When we added up the tallies for each candidate, we discovered that we had a total of 536 ballots - and immediately realized that this number was 11 more than the number of apparent voter signatures! According to the rules, we were required to resolve this discrepancy if at all possible. So we recounted the ballots twice more, and were able to verify the correct totals for each candidate. Even so, we still had 11 more ballots than signatures.

     At that point, we sent Don, along with the official who had first reviewed the signatures, to a separate table. Shortly before 10:00 p.m., they found the 11 previously-overlooked signatures.

     And the results? At our polling station, Senator John Kerry garnered the most votes by far (62.5% of the total), followed by General Clark (25.1%), Governor Dean (12.8%) and Senator Edwards (10.4%). Statewide, the candidates’ votes were in the same order of finish.

     While Phil and I were disappointed in our candidate’s showing (Gov. Dean did hit the 15% threshold and will get at least some of New Mexico’s delegates), we felt most gratified and satisfied about what we had done that day:

• We had helped the Democratic Party execute a new presidential selection process that ran relatively smoothly the first time out;
   

• We had been able to offer considerable assistance to the election judges - all retired people who were clearly worn out from the exertions of the day; and –
   

• We had helped to preserve the integrity of the ballot box and insure that each Democratic presidential candidate on the ballot received the votes to which he was entitled.

     Phil also became inspired to do more politically: perhaps use his computer skills to assist our new Ward Chair and visit our Senator, Pete Domenici, to talk about Medicare.

     We also made some new friends. And finally, we came away believing that we had truly done our part to stand up for Democracy - and for a very precious right that we should never take for granted.

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Carol Akright is a Certified Financial Planner (CFP), stockbroker and insurance agent specializing in intergenerational planning, retirement funding and wealth building. She is Registered Principal with Associated Securities Corporation of Los Angeles, a full service brokerage firm. A financial educator as well, she lectures nationwide at both public and corporate seminars on investment strategies, "Dream Funding," and other financial topics. She is the author of FUNDING YOUR DREAMS GENERATION TO GENERATION (Dearborn Trade, 2001), and can be reached at (505) 897-1970 or akrightcr1@aol.com. Her website is www.fundingyourdreams.com.

hen I think of "Integrity," I think of my father, James Ritchie Akright, the man in my life whom I have most admired. Dad was a man who spoke the truth, lived his values to the best of his ability, and who asked of others that they be truthful, straightforward, and guileless - i.e. not living “undercover.”

     Jim Akright was smart enough to know that living a life of integrity is not always easy. He had enough street savvy to know that most people have trouble walking the straight line all the time. He aimed to do that in his own life, and from what I could see, he did it consistently. He had a truth test for himself, about whether he was living in integrity, and it was a morning look in the mirror. He said to me, “If I can get up every morning and like the person I see in the mirror, then I feel I’m living right.”

     He also conveyed to my sister and me how it feels when you don’t live with integrity. The few times that I strayed from the direct truth as a child, I felt just awful - because I felt I’d let him, and myself, down. To this day, I endeavor to live a life of integrity - so that I can look in the mirror and like whom I see, and remain free of that uncomfortable feeling deep inside, when we know we have taken a wrong path, even in little things.

     As I’ve matured, I’ve started to see Integrity as a layer of choices. Each day we face a choice of either being direct with people and speaking our minds, or easing away from expressing our feelings, away from saying what matters most to us, and away from making what we truly believe in known to others. Each day we must decide whether to squeeze in one more errand we want to get done, perhaps keeping others waiting, or to postpone the nonessential and be punctual.

     Each day we decide how to treat other human beings - both family and friends, as well as strangers. We can let our irritation with them or the circumstances bleed into the words and actions we share with others, or we can assess what is the best thing for all, and do that. Sometimes, the “right” choice is to remain silent, even when we’d like to complain, criticize or demand satisfaction. Other times, speaking up is the better option - saying what needs to be said with diplomacy and honesty. As Dan Sullivan of The Strategic Coach advises, there are four areas of responsibility that lead to relationships of integrity with others. I’ve mentioned them before, but they bear repeating:

1. Show up on time.

2. Do what you say.

3. Finish what you start.

4. Say “please” and “thank you.”

     If you and everyone you know would do these four things, think how you would feel about working with, living with, and loving all the people who are now in your life, or who will come into it one day! We’d be swimming in a sea of integrity!

     So far, I’ve been talking about integrity in relationships with others. Yet, as I began this article, it occurred to me to ask myself, does integrity exist outside of relationships at all? Can you be a person of integrity without a context of relationships--just you alone in the universe? I believe so. You have an idea of what you believe to be your purpose in life - why you’re here, and who you strive to become. You know that some day, when you approach the end of life, there will be an internal reckoning. The inner conversation will go something like this… a series of questions to which you hope you can answer in the affirmative:

     Did I live the life I wanted to live? Did I take my innate talents and personality and do the best with them that I could? Do I like who I’ve become? Am I worthy of this gift of life that I was given? Have I been a good person? Have I loved others well? Have I been adventurous and explored the universe to the fullest? Have I helped others? Have I contributed what I could? Am I someone others enjoyed and wanted to spend time with?

     Was I a good wife, husband, mother, father, daughter, son, sister, brother, and friend? Do I know my Higher Self, or God, or Whomever I believe in as a Higher Power? Am I in touch with my owner inner heart and soul? Do I really know myself, love myself, like myself, trust myself? Did I have a good time? Did I laugh and play enough? Did I appreciate all the bounty of life? Are there things I would do differently if I could do it all again? What things are they? And even in these final years, what is left for me to do, see, feel, enjoy, and experience? Am I done with life yet, or is there much more I want to accomplish for myself?”

     While many of these activities listed above may involve others, what is paramount to realize is that the greatest relationship we have to reckon with is the relationship we have with ourselves. We cannot live in integrity with others, if we are not aware of, loving, honest, and kind to ourselves. Every day, if we ask this list of questions, and base our daily actions on them, I think we indeed will live a life that is in integrity - because we are being true to ourselves and what we believe is “right” for us and our lives. Only then can we connect to others in ways that would spell “integrity.”

     Take a moment now to ask yourself these same questions - especially the ones that have to do with how you care for yourself. Be good to yourself. Live in integrity according to who you strive to be and how you strive to feel about yourself and life. Know your values, aim to live in alignment with them every day, and embrace each day with the feeling that you are being “right” to yourself. Then your integrity with others will be a reflection of the primary relationship you honor - the inner one with you.

     For don’t we all want to look in the mirror and love the woman or man we see reflected there? I must say that I take that look every morning and remember my father’s inquiry. I love to say each day, “Yes, I’m glad I’m Carol Akright. I like you and honor who you are.” I’m sure you’ll feel the same way. It’s our responsibility to ourselves not to live “undercover” - but to be open and honest with ourselves first, knowing full well who we are and what we want, and taking the “right” actions to live our life of purpose. Only then will we radiate our personal inner integrity out to all whom we touch in our daily lives.

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Shelby Smith-Sanclare, Ph.D. is a Business and Personal Coach who works with individuals and organizations to break preconceived patterns and create new and innovative ways to blaze ahead in their strategic thinking, decision making, and action taking. She brings experience and training in the fields of research, training, strategic planning, environmental design, organizational management, and business consulting. Shelby is a CoachU graduate and a member of the International Coach Federation. She has lived abroad working with both locals and expatriates in making business and personal life choices. Contact her at (505) 296-1514, or email her at .

“Integrity is about wholeness, about being one with oneself, that rock-solid center that withstands buffeting by outside circumstances and temptations. Pull ourselves away from this wholeness and our life begins spinning out of balance, easily veering us away to a way of life crafted by others, careening us into dangerous curves and dead-ends that leave us emotionally battered and bruised and, wanting - wanting to fill an emptiness that we can’t define.”

o you remember those all night gab sessions with your friends when you were growing up? I remember talking with great sincerity and seriousness about such profound topics as life and death, boys and morals, makeup and hairstyles, values, decency, principles, standards, and yes, integrity. I’m glad we weren’t secretly recorded back then. I wouldn’t want to be held accountable now for the lofty ideals we espoused. Or would I?

     “Integrity” like the weather is something everyone talks about - a word so well used and fluid, that a precise definition, despite Webster’s often quoted one, depends upon the context. For example, I went to the Web and Googled the word “Integrity,” and found that there were almost 9 million hits. Include the kissing cousins “honesty” and “virtue” with nearly two and half and four million each, we are talking fifteen million plus references on the Web alone. There are centers, foundations, and alliances for Integrity in science, politics, education, learning, corporations, religion, and more. There is research into every aspect of Integrity, from its physical properties to its most esoteric qualities. Whole books have been written on Integrity.

     We even use the word in naming our businesses. In my city, I can buy a car, obtain insurance, get a mortgage or refinancing, protect my home or business, take care of my health, condition my water, and purchase jewelry. Frankly, I’d prefer to deal with a person of integrity than a company that uses that in its name, and may not necessarily reflect the employees’ behaviors. That is just my take on it.

     What I am talking about is the personal side of integrity. After all, that is the only area you or I really have full control over - our own thoughts, beliefs, attitudes, and actions.

     Of course it is not always easy, but I think that if we listen deeply we will find that our hearts long for authenticity, connection and integrity more than for comfort or ease.

     One reason to focus on Integrity is that in some sense, it is fundamental to everything else in our lives. The rest of what we think or do matters very little if we lack essential integrity - the self-knowledge of who we are at our very core, the values and beliefs that ignite our passions, and the courage of our convictions that allows us to act and speak in behalf of what we know to be right.

     We are being courageous when we live according to our conscience when it would be easy to hide. Yes, personal integrity takes courage, particularly when we are living a life of seeming ease and comfort “just the way it is.” Often we do not challenge ourselves to achieve our essential life purpose. It is much easier to glide down the hill of life, maintaining or digressing, than to follow the sometimes-arduous climb up the path we know is right for us, the one our heart longs to fulfill. I’m sure you can cite your own personal examples. You know the ones: those that catch in your throat and sting your eyes when you think of them.

     When we act in a way counter to what we know is right and wrong for us, we are pulling ourselves away from this Integrity. Even when we think or act in a way that is unspoken or unnoticed by others, we know.

     Self-preservation is strong. I know it is for me. I sometimes believe that if I reveal my true self and longings, I will be at risk - ridiculed, or abandoned by those I care about the most. Yet the only person who can separate us from others is our own self. There is an essential Integrity beyond even our awareness that knows when we aren’t being true to ourselves and begins to pull away and hide. When we begin to justify our outward behaviors and decisions, with each justification we pull away not only from those we want near us, we pull away from our true selves, and we cease to attract those who could call us back to our true selves.

     Here are a few clues I use to know when I may be pulling away from my essential Integrity and when I am ready for my Personal Integrity Upgrade. Try them on for size. Do you:

• Rely on what people think of you?

• Worry about what people might say about you?

• Make decisions based on how you think you ought to be?

• Focus on how you used to be?

• Look beyond your life and compare it with others?

     Did you notice how each of these actions steals your energy, momentum and inspiration? The reward for continually upgrading personal integrity is that we become more conscious of that true compass - the one that never errs. When we don’t listen, we make choices that pull us away from ourselves and from others.

     Integrity is not just about being honest and upright. Self-awareness and empathy are two key elements of the integrity equation.

     Self-awareness comes from taking the time to evaluate what defines our best selves, deepest longings, our truest dreams, and our strengths and limitations. It is an essential component in fine-tuning our Integrity. Empathy is about being socially and politically tuned in - and more. We must have compassion and forgiveness for ourselves as well as others. Only when I forgive myself can I muster the courage it takes to correct my path. Only when I have compassion for myself do I make the difficult choices, understanding their difficulty and the strength it takes to fulfill them. That is how I develop my courage and strength.

     All these ramblings seem to skirt the definition of Integrity, yet they return to the heart of it after all. Integrity is about wholeness, about being one with oneself, that rock-solid center that withstands buffeting by outside circumstances and temptations. I hesitate to call it immutable, because as we grow and experience life, we begin more clearly to define who we are and what we value most. It is a process that requires honing and discarding what wasn’t really ours to begin with.

     Pull ourselves away from this wholeness and our life begins spinning out of balance, easily veering us away to a way of life crafted by others, careening us into dangerous curves and dead-ends that leave us emotionally battered and bruised and, wanting - wanting to fill an emptiness that we can’t define.

     We try to fill this gnawing with things, with activities, with achievements that bring outside recognition, and still we are hungry for meaning. We try to force-fit what we “think” we ought to do or be, and it causes resentment when peace doesn’t come. We’ve spent our energies and the pay-off hasn’t materialized. Doctors, holistic practitioners, and psychologists, financial advisors and debt managers, career counselors, business owners, and office managers all are called upon to “fix” some part of the results we’ve created. And yes, coaches too, although to a person we will be quick to tell you we don’t fix anything.

     As coaches we are called to hold our clients as whole, resourceful, and capable. We respond to their trust and commitment by calling forth from them their best selves, their deepest longings, their truest dreams. We are there for them to identify and realign with their integrity. What an incredible honor!

     So that brings me back to my original question: would I want to be held accountable for those lofty ideals espoused in my youth? Yes, I would. In those lofty ideals lie the seeds of my integrity. In the slipping and sliding and resultant bruises on life’s ice rink, I may have forgotten some of my essential self and sought to protect it from the risks inherent in being in Integrity - whole and true to my highest and best nature. Absolutely! Bring me back to that self-awareness with compassion and forgiveness, because I know that is where my true strength, courage, and commitment will endure.

     How about you?

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Lenann McGookey Gardner is a Harvard M.B.A. and an independent management consultant specializing in improving companies' sales and marketing results. She works with smaller businesses, as well as large companies, worldwide.  Call Lenann when you want to grow your sales by closing the most desirable, highest profit business. Lenann is a winner of the American Marketing Association/New Mexico's "Services Marketer of the Year" award. Visit her on the Web at www.YouCanSell.com.

INTEGRITY – Is it relevant any more?

ebster’s American College Dictionary defines “integrity” as “uncompromising adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty.”

     “Moral”, then, is “of, pertaining to, or concerned with the principles of right conduct or the distinction between right and wrong; ethical … virtuous.”

     And “ethical” is “being in accordance with the rules or standards for right conduct or practice.”

     What could all that possibly have to do with selling things?

     I’m a sales trainer – and I’m involved in doing quite a bit of selling myself, of my services, seminars, coaching, training, and speeches.

     And we all know that salespeople will lie, cheat, and steal just to get our money.

     So here I am, writing about integrity, when I must not only be lying, cheating and stealing myself, but also teaching others how to do those things! Right?

     Well, no.

     Although the stereotype of salespeople may be negative, the reality is much different.

     Here’s what I preach and teach: people can smell a liar a mile away. They may not know what you lied about, but they know that you lied. Or misrepresented. Or overstated. People sense that. So even if you’re tempted, don’t do it. Selling is not about lying or misrepresenting; it’s usually about listening to your prospect and determining what’s hurting him (problems he’s having now, or has had in the past, or is afraid of having in the future … or problems he’s heard others have had when in circumstances similar to his own). If you can link what you have to offer to the alleviation of that pain, that’s selling.

     Not long ago, Sharon Drew Morgen published a book called Selling with Integrity that opens with these words, “Since I was a girl, I’ve lived with the hope that people would speak to each other respectfully and treat each other as if they each mattered. I have grown through life determined and dedicated to doing my share to make the skills available, if only to provide a safe place for myself.”

     And then she proceeds to write a book that has very valid information in it about how to sell.

     She even used the I-word in the title!

     The underlying principle here is that not only is operating with integrity the right thing to do; from a selling point of view, it actually works!

     But it isn’t easy.

     In my experience, there are opportunities to display a lack of integrity at every turn.

     My greatest lesson in this happened more than twenty years ago, when I took a class in Los Angeles. I took this class because my best friend told me I should – I didn’t really know what it was going to be about. Personal effectiveness? What was that?

     My experience was that some 250 other people came out to that ballroom in a big hotel seeking greater personal effectiveness, too.

     The instructor stood up on a stage and said, “Before we begin, we are going to cover the
Ground Rules. These are the rules under which we will operate throughout the class.”

     Ground Rules? Boring!

     And he droned on, “Now I am going to read the Ground Rules, one at a time. After I’ve read each Ground Rule, I will ask if there are any questions about it. If there are, I’ll answer the questions. Then, when all the questions have been answered, I’ll ask you to signify that you agree with the Ground Rule by standing.”

     Boring, boring, boring! How many of these Ground Rule things could he have?

     He read Ground Rule Number One – I think it was, “There will be no eating in the training room.”

     Then he called for questions.

     Someone said, “I am a diabetic, and if my blood sugar gets low, I have to eat this fruit roll-up. Is that OK?”

     Big discussion.

     Then someone said, “Does taking a pill count as eating?”

     More discussion.

     Finally, we were asked if we agreed to abide by the Ground Rule, “There will be no eating in the training room.”

     We all stood up.

     Then it was on to Ground Rule Number Two: There will be no smoking in the training room.”

     Unbelievable!

     Discussion. Vote.

     On and on.

     Finally, Ground Rule Number One Hundred and Forty-Seven (or so it seemed): “The class will run on time. I agree to be in the training room and in my same seat when the breaks end.”

     For this one, we were given some help. We were told that a piece of music exactly three minutes in length would be played when there were only three minutes left before the breaks ended.

     The instructor insisted on playing the entire three minutes of music, so we would know that that specific music meant that the breaks are about to end.

     Would we agree to be back in the training room and in our seats when the breaks ended? Of course we would! This was the most boring class in the history of mankind!

     And then they gave us a fifteen-minute break.

     Thank God!

     I was in the lobby of the hotel, drinking coffee and chatting, when I heard the opening strains of the “Theme from 2001: A Space Odyssey” – the end-of-break music. So I dropped my paper coffee cup in a bin, entered the ballroom, and sat down in my seat.

     People were streaming in … 250 people, all returning at once. The chairs were in tight little rows, so people were excusing themselves and sliding sideways down the rows, moving toward their seats, when the music … ended.

     And the instructor, the seemingly mild-mannered, Ground Rule-driven, boring guy, said, “STOP RIGHT THERE!”

     People continued sliding toward their seats, urgently now.

     “I SAID STOP RIGHT THERE! THIS MEANS YOU! IF YOU AREN’T IN YOUR SEAT AT THIS MOMENT, STOP RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE!”

     It must have been embarrassing. Those rows were narrow, so each person was stuck, right in front of someone else. And I mean literally, backside-in-their-face stuck.

     “WE HAD AGREEMENT. EACH OF YOU STOOD UP AND AGREED TO THE GROUND RULES – YOU AGREED TO BE IN YOUR SEATS WHEN THE BREAK ENDED. WE GAVE YOU MUSIC TO HELP YOU. AND HERE YOU ARE. YOU HAVE NO INTEGRITY – YOUR WORD MEANS NOTHING!

     Boy, was I glad I’d made it into my seat in time!

     The instructor made those people stand there for twenty minutes as he berated them. “Without integrity, your word means nothing!”

      His point was well taken: integrity is the key. If you say you’re going to do something in life, just do it. No excuses. If you find that you will be unable to do what you said you were going to do, renegotiate that commitment before the deadline passes. NEVER let a deadline go by without acknowledging it and attempting to renegotiate it. Just don’t SAY you’ll do it if you have any doubt that you WILL.

     I’ll never forget that day in Los Angeles, with all those people being publicly humiliated. And I learned the lesson: integrity, in business and in life, is essential. Simply doing what I say I’m going to do – no excuses – is a great basis for that. And integrity – not bending the rules, or trying to equivocate, or, really, doing anything I’ll be ashamed I’ve done – is a key element in the foundation of a satisfying life.

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Janet L. Hall is a Certified Kinesionics Practitioner/Herbalist/Nutritionist and owner of Alternative Wellness Center in Albuquerque. She is a member of the Association of Specialized Kinesiologists of the U.S., and also a member of the American Herbalists Guild. The People Living Through Cancer organization recently awarded Janet a plaque for her caring, dedicated and professional treatment of those she works with who are dealing with cancer. Janet is also the consulting Kinesiologist and Nutritionist for A New Hope, a foundation for eating disorders. Janet can be reached at (505) 294-WELL, or .

hen I think of the word integrity, my mind wanders all the way back to Junior High. Why? Well, in the seventh grade I was asked to do an essay on integrity. Besides discussing the meaning of integrity, the questions we were asked to ponder were: What do you feel a deep integrity to? And, what do you believe is worth dying for?

     As a child I always felt a deep sense of spirituality: a distinct belief in and awe of a wonderful creator and God of the universe that seemed to touch my very core. It was from that place within me that I responded. I was an avid reader. The Bible and bible literature intrigued me. I recalled the courageous words I read that one young religious man wrote to his family. He was awaiting death at the hands of Nazi persecutors for not breaking his integrity by joining the Nazi regime and murdering Jews.

     He wrote, “It is already past midnight. I still have time to change my mind. Ah! But could I be happy again in this world after I had denied my integrity before God? Surely not! So, I assure you that I shall leave this world in happiness and peace.” I was so impressed by his integrity, faith and trust. I decided that integrity would be of extreme importance in my life.

     Integrity took on a whole new meaning for me. I realized it requires uncompromising loyalty - and not merely under favorable conditions or circumstances, but under all conditions and at all times. The young man mentioned above made a solemn agreement in his heart, to himself, that God’s laws were correct - that murder would be wrong. So he stayed true to his agreement with himself, even if it meant his death. Really then, our integrity is the most evident when we are tested and pressured to abandon it.

     When I looked up the word integrity, the dictionary described it as “firmness of character and honesty,” but when you research the original Hebrew word it means “that which is complete and whole, unbreakable devotion, honest motivation, innocence as to wrong intention.” So, holding to integrity would only be possible through firmness, trueness to self, and wholeness or completeness of heart and devotion, along with deep faith and trust in your beliefs.

     But really, integrity to anyone or anything starts with integrity to ourselves and to what we believe in. It gives stability to our lives, enabling us to follow through on our course and goals. The qualities that characterize integrity are purity of heart, singleness of outlook, focus and intent and freedom from hypocrisy. When we have that, we are able to speak the truth in our hearts. Even Job, a famous biblical character whom people have admired for centuries, commented, “Until I expire, I shall not take away my integrity from myself!”

     But, just what has happened to integrity? Integrity - as it applies to the aspects of our lives, in marriage, to our employer, in parenting, etc.? With the rate of affairs that take place in marriages, with the high theft and turnover of employees in businesses, with the increasing rate of juvenile delinquency and so on, wouldn’t you say many have not held true to their sense of integrity? But, again, without integrity to ourselves, how can we possibly project that to these aspects of our lives and contribute to the world as a whole?

     Just recently I learned that the word integrity comes from the word “integral,” which means “all together, whole; a part of.” So integrity is a part of our whole“ being.” Use of the word “being” relates to the wholeness of the authentic self. You don’t “have” or “possess” integrity - it is wholly who you are. The way to know if you are manifesting your integrity is to assess how often you are justifying what you are doing. In other words, if you have integrity in your being, it means not having to try to “talk yourself” into doing something you feel is the right course of action. The integrity of your whole being would match up to the action and you would just naturally do it. Also, if you find yourself justifying why you are not doing something that you feel is right, you are not manifesting integrity. You, as a being, are in conflict - thereby split and not whole.

     For example, let’s say you find some money. Immediately your entire being recognizes that it is not yours, and you feel morally obligated to find its owner. Yet, if you are not manifesting integrity, you might begin to justify keeping it. You could begin thinking, “I need this money as much as whoever lost it.” Or, “They were careless with it, so they deserve to lose it.” There is a conflict rather than wholeness in the self. You are resisting what your whole being, or the integral part of you, knows it needs to do - return the money.

     Another example might be that of parents who hear their baby cry during the night. The father, knowing he could attend to the child’s cries, begins to justify why it would be okay to just let his wife do it. He remains in bed thinking, “I worked more hours this week than she did, so I shouldn’t have to get up.” But, as he remains in bed, he feels conflicted about it. So, integrity is the whole of the human being - whole with itself. If we could manifest integrity in that way, all of the time, we could avoid becoming physically ill or having disease. It is generally when we go against the self and what we know to be true that “dis-ease” occurs. We are not at ease but in conflict inside. The body reacts badly when we are not doing what is integral to our whole being.

     The young man I spoke of at the beginning of this article knew he could not be who he truly was with his core beliefs if he acted against them - by taking the lives of others - and still be able to live with such conflict inside him. That was an extreme case, yet it is no less important with the smaller issues on a day-to-day basis. So, how do we learn to develop this wholeness? Take the time to assess just how often you are in “justification” mode. Don’t resist what your being knows it needs to be doing, and recognize when your actions are not congruent with who you are. You will begin to increase your wholeness or integrity in your being, and soon you will watch yourself manifest it in every area of your life!

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