Defining Women Newsletter - Winter 2008-09, "Finding the Time"

Shelby Smith-Sanclare, Ph.D. is a Business and Personal Coach who works with individuals and organizations to break preconceived patterns and create new and innovative ways to blaze ahead in their strategic thinking, decision making, and action taking. She brings experience and training in the fields of research, training, strategic planning, environmental design, organizational management, and business consulting. Shelby is a CoachU graduate and a member of the International Coach Federation. She has lived abroad working with both locals and expatriates in making business and personal life choices. Contact her at (505) 237-2005, or email her at .

mazing, isn't it? We all have the same 24 hours, yet it seems that some people have time on their hands, while others don't have enough time, run out of time, and can't find the time. So what about time gives some people so much and others so little? More importantly, how can you or I get more of that time we are always lacking?
     A professional organizer will tell you, and I will confirm, that much of our time is used looking for misplaced items.
     An efficiency expert will tell you it is a matter of setting priorities and keeping an eye on what is important to you.
     A mother of a couple of toddlers will tell you to forget about any time for yourself until they are old enough to be in school and maybe not then either.
     A coach might talk about building a reserve of time.
     A homeowner will tell you that your time will always be required on home projects.
     A counselor may tell you it is about respecting yourself and others enough to make the time.
     The teacher may urge you to use your time to improve your mind and chances for better employment, while a travel agent might suggest that vacation time away from routine may be time well spent.
     The person with a terminal illness may lament the use of their time in the past, or you may lament not spending more time with those nearest and dearest to your heart.
     Then there are the practical aspects of time, linear in the western world, jam karet or rubber time e in Indonesia and other countries where time takes on entirely different significance.
     So is time the elephant? Are all these different approaches similar to the blind describing that part of the elephant from their particular point of view - as if it were the whole elephant? And how many different points of the description fit your concept of time?
     Often, when I'm lamenting the lack of time, I'm forgetting the ways I've chosen to use my time - often frittered it away because I've forgotten what is important to me or trying to fit just one more activity into my schedule and thus arriving late or missing a deadline.
     As of this week, I'm learning a new concept of time. Because I'm having foot surgery, I've been a dervish getting packages wrapped and shipped for the holidays, getting some of my household tasks completed, and getting various decisions back into the hands of those from whom I'd taken that responsibility.
     I'm told that once the pain subsides, I will still not be able to walk for a couple of weeks and not drive for about six weeks. Right now, I'm thinking of all the ways to spend that "down time" doing those projects that I don't generally take time to build into my schedule. I'll be reading books for my own personal pleasure and others onto tapes for my grandchildren, addressing cards for the holidays, perhaps even writing a note or two that will surprise people who haven't heard from me except by e-mail in five years or more.
     I've even given thought to using some down time to think about what next to do with my life - what can I feel passionate about and put my heart and soul into. Who knows, with all that time, perhaps I'll be readjusting my priorities completely.
     The one thing I do know is that I don't want to go back to letting huge chunks of my time go by to places I can't even recall because I've been unconscious about the choices I was making or the times I couldn't say "No, thanks."
     So, how about you? Given that none of us can put time in a bottle, and given that time keeps moving along tick by tock whether we want it to or not, where will you put your attention? What will move you to a passionate choice about your time? What factors outside your control will you continue to allow to infringe on your precious time without your conscious consent?
     The New Year is just around the corner. Is this a good time to take a fresh look at time and make it your friend rather than a thief?
     My wish for all of us is that time truly will be our friend so when our time finally comes to an end, we can reflect on our time well spent.

Lenann McGookey Gardner is an internationally known sales consultant and author of the book, �Got Sales? The Complete Guide to Today�s Proven Methods for Selling Services� (Jarndyce & Jarndyce Press, 2007). A Harvard MBA, Lenann was the number one sales representative worldwide at a unit of Xerox Corporation, and achieved unprecedented results as a marketing executive at Mattel and in leadership roles at Blue Cross Blue Shield. She is a winner of the American Marketing Association�s Professional Services �Marketer of the Year� award. For more information, including purchasing her book, please contact Lenann at or at 505-828-1788.

Do you have the time to read this? No? Maybe that's why you should read this.

he older I get, the more convinced I am that the most precious thing we have is not money ... not love ... but time! If we have enough time, we can get the other stuff, right?
     And yet, as a consultant whose work involves helping people to sell their services and products, I can say that most people are terrible at controlling their time, and that's why they're not more successful.
     I'm an expert in state-of-the-art selling skills, and I work hard to keep up to date on what's working in selling. One of my favorite books of the last 5 years is Time Traps by Todd Duncan. Todd is the author of a number of sales books, but this one is specifically about where we spend our time, and he's not shy about his point of view: "75% of the time you spend at work ... is probably a waste of time. That's right. 75 percent."
     The big issue used to be "time management". What a joke! Nobody can "manage time" - in the sense that management involves organizing and controlling. There's no controlling time...but we can control what takes up our time, tasks. And task management can be the key to success.
     Most of us are just loaded with tasks. As I write this, I have four To Do Lists beside me. One is urgent "must be done today", one is "must be done this week", one for "must be done before I leave for work in Amsterdam and Warsaw," and one is for "longer term stuff" it would be nice to complete. Each of these lists covers the better part of a full page, one item per line. It's depressing to look at all these lists!
     And yet, I have a very real sense of the priorities (hence the names of the lists). And on the "must be done today" list there's a Post-It note with today's top 7 priorities, in order from highest to lowest. Those are the things I MUST get done before I call it a day in my office; 7 seems to be a magic number that I can usually get done (and that's supported by the writings of Liz Davenport, who recommends this approach!)
     I used to work myself into the ground trying to get everything done. I'm older now, and I've come to realize that on the day I die, my inbox will be full (that's both my physical inbox and my email inbox)! So now it's all about knowing when my deadlines are, and, when I realize that I can't meet one, knowing who will be impacted by my missing the date. I always try to phone and renegotiate my due date before it passes, and, at the very least, I email the people who will be affected, letting them know of a more realistic date when I can complete the project, and acknowledging my failure to achieve the original target. That's my style.
     So, what goes to the top of my To Do lists? Client projects, of course. Family stuff that matters to those I love. Prospecting activity. (Time spent face-to-face or phone-to-phone with those who are in a position to spend money with our company correlates directly with closed business. The same is likely true of your business.) And my considerable community service work. Usually in that order, but altered when deadlines press, to give proper respect to those "committed-to dates", even when I am sometimes unable to meet them.
     Can you have peace with a system like this? Often. I've come to realize that, if my life were simpler, I'd be bored! Case in point: a protégée. A lady who works at one of my client companies showed great potential as a rainmaker (salesperson). She was awesome! She took what I was teaching and turned it into an impressive track record in selling, and a bright future, because the leadership in her Texas company recognized her ability. I helped her individually, and was so proud when she stepped up and made things happen. Then one day she told me of a big decision she'd made. She was going into Accounts Payable.
     "Accounts Payable?" I said. "You mean, an accounting job, at the desk all day, flat salary?"
     "Yes," she said, "I really like that, every day, I'll come in and my inbox will be full, I'll spend the day entering the invoices and paying them, and at close of business my inbox will be empty, my outbox full, and my job complete until tomorrow. I won't even have to think about it!"
     I paused to consider this. What joy! Completion! No need to think of one's job until walking into the workplace the next morning! That's inherently appealing. But I suggested to her, "I think you need a vacation!" My sense was that, if she was nothing more than an invoice-entering, check-cutting machine, she'd be bored quickly; maybe her "overwhelm" in the sales role could be cured with a couple of weeks away from work completely.
     My friend went into Accounting. I was disappointed. But the key to her decision was time, and a desire to be DONE. I think the key to many fulfilling professional roles may be giving up on the idea of completion. Accepting that, every day of our working life, we'll be living with some To Dos - or many To Dos - and that that's something with which we can make peace.
     I think of the photographs I've seen in magazines of very successful people's offices. Almost without exception, they're not neat! They're cluttered ... stacked, really ... with lots of projects. Lots of exciting work. Lots of possibilities. That's the sort of life I want to lead. So as I move my church work files over to accommodate a client project; as I pull out files on two key prospects I need to reach out to; as I move the lyrics to the song I'm singing at next week's voice class to accommodate the invoice and cover letter I need to sign and send to my new client ... I'm working to smile at the piles, enjoy my life, give up on my "good girl, got it all done" thought processes, and move onto being a highly productive adult.
     Finding the time? Why, I have time for anything I decide to have time for. Of course, I can't do everything. And that's OK.

Miriam Ortiz y Pino - click here for her article

Miriam Ortiz y Pino CPO® is a Certified Professional Organizer and the owner of More than Organized for over 8 years. In that time, she has been frequently quoted in the local media as a Golden Circle member of the National Association of Professional Organizers (NAPO) and as an expert on simplifying your life. Her column, "Streamlined," appears in SAGE, the women's monthly section of the Albuquerque Journal. Through workshops, hands-on organizing and customized solutions, she helps people gain control of their time, stuff and space. For more information call (505) 243-4356, e-mail , or visit http://www.morethanorganized.net.

inding the Time. What an intriguing concept. Not just time but "the" time. Especially a-propos for a professional organizer who spends much of my time helping others find the time for all the tasks on their lists.
     The more I thought about this topic, the more I realized that this is the perfect opportunity to relate all the things I did this year in an attempt to have a better life balance. Much of what I did was designed to create enough space and time to try dating again - the missing piece.
     Too much of my time has been spent working crazy hours and then crashing. I have always been a "work hard, play hard and rest hard" kind of gal. This pattern no longer worked well when I became an entrepreneur, and after 7 years I realized that I had forgotten the play part.
     My goal for 2008 was to automate as much of my business as possible. Take all the information, suggestions and best practices I have gathered and actually, really, implement them. Stop reinventing the wheel and make a routine of most of my tasks, just like I tell all my clients. I hoped this would free up some time for socializing.
     I started by scheduling one evening and one afternoon a week for hanging out with friends. After two weeks of feeling like I couldn't pull even that small amount of time off and still get enough sleep, I started having fun. The thing about fun is that it is more energizing than a nap when your life is tipping towards balance.
     I eliminated all the monthly decisions about how to get clients for my business by finally turning my success over to a well thought out marketing calendar. I took the time to create a two-year plan that has a rotating system for direct mail, calls, notes, website updates and column writing. It incorporates networking events and the workshops I give. Now I don't spend time deciding what to do or when to do it - I just do it and it only takes a little time because I have practiced.
     Next I started a one household project per week plan. These are the nagging projects that are so stressful when we fight them. Cleaning the fridge, washing windows, raking leaves, getting the dust bunnies out from under the furniture. Deciding to do one a week was easy, maintaining the motivation to decide which one to do was harder. To make it a little more fun, I simply wrote one project per page in a small, pretty notebook and I turn the page to the next one every Saturday morning. Unless there is a weather reason, I do not go out of order. Occasionally there is a strong resistance in my mind or gut and I simply swap out for the next week, trying not to let it get pushed back more than three weeks.
     So far this method has allowed me to keep on top of dreaded chores without too much stress.
     I took the three things that were causing me the most stress and indecision and choreographed them into a routine. By just not worrying about my lack of social life, what marketing idea to try this week and how to get the cobwebs off the screens, I freed up enough time and space to meet a very promising man. We'll see where that ends up. In the meantime my house is cleaner, I sleep better, my clients feel more appreciated and new folks are hearing about how to be "More than Organized."
     Clients complain all the time that they can't get it all done and there is not enough time. They have chosen the things on their To-Do lists, and time has warped around those choices, and expanded enough for the complaining. Simply choosing to spend time on what is important and not just urgent slows down the second hand. Organizing, even just a little bit, keeps things form becoming urgent in the first place. Think it through and do it right the first time saves all the time it would take to redo.
     The thing about time is that tasks and activities expand or contract to fit it exactly - thus the true concept of New Mexico time.

Jane Blume

Desert Sky Communications

Jane Blume

Jane Blume, editor/publisher of our Defining Women newsletter, celebrates 42 years of professional work in communications this year. Jane founded Desert Sky Communications in 1989 to help businesses, non-profit organizations and individual entrepreneurs "get the right messages to the right audiences." Desert Sky's services include public relations, marketing and advertising strategies and execution; writing and editing; corporate identity; photography; facilitation; and innovative radio programs. For more information, call Jane at (505) 294-1976, email to or visit www.desertskycommunications.com.

ecently, I decided to do something very different from my normal routines: learn an alternative healing modality called "kinesionics" (also known as "kinesiology"). I feel as if I am going to medical school - except that my fellow students and I don't have to do anatomical dissections!
So what is kinesionics/kinesiology?
Originally, kinesiology studied how the human organism moved, and therefore was found to be very useful in sports medicine.
   Applied Kinesiology began to be developed in the 1930s, when a husband and wife team of researchers noticed that muscle injuries correlated with problems in certain internal organs.
   Today, there are a number of "schools" of Applied Kinesiology. The one I am studying, kinesionics, enables the practitioner to touch hundreds of points on the body while muscle testing - which enlists the body to identify its current health needs and effective therapies for physical, emotional and mental aspects of that person's condition.
   Kinesionics practitioners can choose effective therapies from among a variety of ancient methods of healing, including herbology, Auyurvedic Medicine, massage techniques, and Chinese medicine and acupuncture. The more modern Gestalt and family therapies can also be employed.
   Kinesionics practitioners still talk about "movement," but the concept has been extended from muscles to encompass the movements of energy, lymph, blood and other fluids, emotions, etc. throughout the body.
   Kinesionics practitioners follow four principles: 1) Each body always works toward restoring optimal functioning. 2) Disease can be prevented. 3) Emotional and spiritual experiences have a direct and vital role in physical health. 4) Each person is responsible for his/her own health.
   (In regards to Principle 4, above: kinesionics can only be successful if the client agrees to follow the recommended therapies!)
Why I'm interested
In 2002, I realized that that traditional Western medicine could not assist me to resolve some nagging, yet relatively minor medical problems - because my physicians focused exclusively on the symptoms and not on the underlying causes.
   So in 2002, I turned to our Defining Women colleague, kinesionics practitioner Janet Hall, for assistance (she's now also become a naturopathic physician, so we can refer to her as "Doctor"). As a result of our work together, I became stronger in many ways. As a matter of fact, it was the kinesionics modalities - along with other spiritual work - that helped me cope with the loss of Phil, my beloved husband of 44 years, who died in October of 2007.
   I became so fascinated by what Janet was doing, and the excellent results we achieved together, that I decided I would like to learn about kinesionics someday. That "someday" came in mid-October of this year. I and 11 other people are learning kinesionics in seven weekends over a four-month period.
Do I have the time?
Before I started this course, no one had told me about the amount of material I would need to learn to become a Certified Kinesionics Practitioner. In addition to becoming familiar with the touch points on the body, we must learn the techniques to identify appropriate therapies, along with anatomy, physiology, some herbology - and more. Outside of class, we are practicing what we've learned in study groups, and on our friends and families! We are required to turn in two short papers, 30 summaries of sessions with clients, take an open-book mid-term at home, and also take a final written and a "practical" exam.
   After I realized what the requirements were, I wondered if I had been somewhat crazy to even try. After all, I'm still running my public relations business, Desert Sky Communications. I've taken over all of Phil's responsibilities. I'm involved in professional groups and community work. I have three pets to manage... lots of friends... and many family members who do not live in New Mexico.
   Janet has told me that she was able to get through the course as a single mother of three while working full time. I figured that if she could do it, I could do it. However, I realized that in order to accomplish everything I have to accomplish, something has to give. So what do I give up? Can I streamline anything?
Here's what I'm doing with my time
I'm keeping my cleaning lady, and my appointments with Janet, my massage therapist and my hairdresser. The outside landscaping will have to wait.
   I concentrate on my business during the day and study kinesiology on nights and week-ends.
   Socializing with friends has been cut back drastically. When I have to be in class, my dogs go into the kennel for the weekend. I'm skimming the two newspapers I get, and am ignoring the magazines. I don't do the New York Times Crossword Puzzle as regularly as I used to.
   I can't read a book for pleasure. I barely watch TV or listen to radio. I feel very disconnected from the news of the day.
   I may not get out my family holiday letter on time - if at all. My clients may or may not receive a holiday gift this year. Some thank-you notes are long past due.
   Some of my bills are being paid late. I don't take out the garbage as often (once every two-three weeks). I make very simple meals. I've postponed the remodeling of my kitchen until the course is over. I've got an invitation for Christmas Day, but Christmas Eve may just go by the boards. I've yet to make plans for New Year's Eve.
   I am not exercising as much as I want to. I agreed to lead my women's stock club this year only if others would help me with my duties. Recently, and for the first time, I hosted the Saturday morning folk music show on our public radio station, KUNM (I do it once every two months), without even previewing most of the music I was going to be playing! (It seemed to work out just fine - listeners still called in with compliments.)
   Will I get through the course? Will I meet all the requirements and become certified? What will I do with all this new knowledge if I do make it through?
   I don't know. Stay tuned. I'm willing to live with the uncertainty.

Associated Securities Corp.

Carol Akright, Certified Financial Planner (CFP)� and Registered Life Planner (RLP), is an investment manager, financial strategist and financial educator, who helps her clients and students identify and fund their life dreams. A financial advisor for 25 years, she is the author of FUNDING YOUR DREAMS GENERATION TO GENERATION (Advisor Press, 2007), and numerous financial articles, including her monthly column, "Money Savvy" in SAGE, the women's monthly section of the Albuquerque Journal. She is the creator of the national PBS series, FUNDING YOUR DREAMS. Also, as the author and host of her weekly teleclass series, "The Wealthbuilding Prot�g� Program, she has launched a new educational division of her company, FUNDING YOUR DREAMS, LLC. For more about her educational programs, visit www.carolakright.com. Carol is also a Registered Principal with Financial Network Investment Corporation. For help with your financial strategies, you may contact her at (505) 897-1970.

his is definitely one of the biggest challenges most of us face - finding the time to do everything we think we want and need to do. Perhaps it's because we create so much work for ourselves, or at least challenge ourselves to reach high standards of productivity and performance. I know I do that, and at times the level of effort I assign myself tires me out.

     Just recently, I was preparing to go abroad on a cruise where I would be offering lectures aboard ship. The week before I left, I made several very long lists of "TO DOs" on my yellow pad. There were three lists: "Pre-Trip TO DOs," "During Trip TO DOs," and "Post-Trip TO DOs."
     On the first list, I got about 1/3 of the items done, which left me feeling frustrated before I left for overseas. During the trip, I ended up taking time off the first half of the cruise - catching up on sleep lost before I left (I had only one to three hours of sleep each night the three days before departure). The second half of the trip, I finished the Pre-Trip list, and just barely got to the list for "During Trip TO DOs"
     Getting home, I felt way behind schedule and hit the ground running, trying just to get to the "Post-Trip" list. Now, looking back, I realize I set myself up to feel anxious about the whole time-management process I had created for this entire period - which covered a month of my life!

     I must admit to myself, too, that this is not atypical of my yellow sheet TO DO lists, which I make daily. I maintain such lists to create structure to my day, and, for the most part, I do feel very productive. As I find time to finish each task, I yellow it out during the day. That night, I draw pink arrows for items that need to be pushed forward to the next day. If I get half the list done (i.e. yellowed out), I feel pretty good.
     But I have to ask myself, why do I create such long lists of TO DOs that I can't get to them all? The reason is I try to cram too much into each day. I feel I "ought to" get that much done. But, who says so? Just me. Another approach is possible - I could cut the list by half, complete all the tasks, and then feel much better about myself and about my ability to get things accomplished. On the days I've done that, I feel great!

     I do understand, however, that part of the reason I make such long lists is that I don't want to forget anything, and so as I think of things that need to be done, I write them on the list, knowing full well that I'll have to move a lot of them forward. So, I set myself up to have half-done lists. Is that OK? That depends upon the rigidity with which I view the lists.
     I could look at them as 'moving targets' of action - which may only get partially completed each day.
     Or, I could look at these lists as ledgers of competence/incompetence, and not completing the list would mean I'm partially incompetent. I assess and value myself quite differently from each of these points of view.

     Can you see how I, or perhaps you, can create our own frustration or satisfaction about finding time to do our daily tasks?

     Another game I play is the "A.B.C" game. Most important tasks are "As." These I really must get done. "Bs" are important, but don't all need to be completed that day. "C" items could be done today, or tomorrow, or perhaps never. So, one would think - let's do the "A" tasks first, then the "B," then the "C." However, "A" tasks are usually harder, or at least more time consuming. The temptation here, I find, is to do the "C" tasks - which are infinitely easier to do, though less important. If I do that, I have lots of yellowed areas colored on my list - completed items - but sometimes a very important "A" did not get attended to, because it was harder to face or complete.

     With regard to "finding the time," the operative word here is "game.'" Time is a game we create to block out chunks of our life - with the view that somehow it will all have more meaning - if we create a time frame to do something in.
     That's a mental construct that may, or may not, be very useful. It helps us when we want to deliver productive work to another person -"I'll get it to you by Tuesday at noon." It helps us meet our own deadlines for action -"I must finish the house project by tomorrow morning." So, the idea, I think is to create a "game" at which I/you can win -be successful.

     Why, after all these years of trying, do I still have trouble "finding the time" and creating a workable schedule that leaves me feeling wonderful, not frustrated? I think I just expect too much of myself, and I want to meet my own expectations of success. I could "lower my standards" -i.e., stretch out the time frame, and perhaps enjoy day-to-day time management a lot more. This always sounds good to me, and yet I seldom change my methodology here. What do they say is the definition of "insanity"? Answer: doing the same thing and expecting different results!

     It occurs to me right now, as I'm writing this, that a great exercise in "finding the time," would be to cut in half the number of "As," "Bs" and "Cs" I put on my yellow pad each day. In fact, I'm going to do just that starting tomorrow.
     An even more revolutionary idea would be to not make any list at all, do what seems important, and not make a list of things that might not get done today. Now, that would be a radical change for me - I'm not sure I'm up to that one yet.

     Still, it is my view that the critical goal here is to enjoy one's life journey - day by day, hour by hour. The importance we place on TO DOs is totally created out of our own imagination. I can alter my view of the TO DOs. I can choose TO DO less, and to give myself more time between TO DOs to rest up, reflect, and re-consider what I'll decide TO DO next. One day, I might even get to the point where making a list doesn't even appeal to me at all. Now, wouldn't that be a remarkable result of these ponderings on "finding the time"?!! I'll have to think on that one.
     Until then, please think about what craziness you, yourself, may be enslaved to about time management, task management, and your view of success. We can probably all benefit by reflecting on these subjects and making sure we are enjoying our journey more, and counting the checked off TO DOs less.

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	"Given that none of us can put time in a bottle, and given that time keeps moving along tick by tock whether we want it to or not, where will you put your attention?"
	"The big issue used to be "time management". What a joke! Nobody can "manage time" - in the sense that management involves organizing and controlling. There's no controlling time..."
	"Clients complain all the time that they can't get it all done and there is not enough time. They have chosen the things on their To-Do lists, and time has warped around those choices, and expanded enough for the complaining."
	"I became so fascinated by what Janet (Hall) was doing, and the excellent results we achieved together, that I decided I would like to learn about kinesionics someday. That "someday" came in mid-October of this year."
	"Time is a game we create to block out chunks of our life - with the view that somehow it will all have more meaning - if we create a time frame to do something in. "